Even though we all have our own different perspectives on the meaning of happiness, we all recognize it when we feel or experience it. The way we picture happiness dictates our attitude towards life, our actions, and also controls our mindset. People who love movies think about seeing a movie even when they can’t actually go out to the cinema. They may follow movie news, talk about the latest movies, because the memories of movies are ingrained into their thoughts.
People who find happiness in money are seen busy looking for business opportunities that are profitable, and monitoring markets and indices. While those find happiness in good food make sure they taste any new delicacy.
We all seek happiness in our way. While some of us find happiness in traveling, some find it in collecting rare items. Whatever our ideology, belief, or taste is, we all believe that we find true happiness if we search well, and pursue it.
Does True Happiness Really Exist?
Every one of us seeks happiness in our own way. Some watch sport, or date girls. While others collect rare items. Whatever our belief, ideology or taste, we all believe that we can find happiness if we search hard enough, and we pursue it like a cure. But does this happiness really exist?
What made us happy when we were kids will probably not make us happy when we reach adulthood, and what makes us happy today will probably not even interest us tomorrow. Whatever the goal we set for ourselves and work towards. The results and reward will be transient, and the happiness we get from it will not be permanent.
That perfect model of happiness that we spend all of our lives running after; is it an achievable and tangible milestone? Are we happy when have rid or freed ourselves from whatever fill us with discontent?
Could it be that happiness is not what we add to our lives, but something that we can reveal by removing the stress and thoughts of inadequacy that we bring upon ourselves? Maybe if we stopped focusing on our continual quest for what makes us feel happy, and start focusing on getting rid of the things that don’t make us happy – if we start to get rid of those things that bring us dissatisfaction, we will find out that the feeling of fulfillment and peace we see as “happiness” has been there all this while, and we have failed to recognize it beneath our everyday life’s disorder.
Why Can’t We Feel Total Happiness?
Even though believe that happiness is worth running after, the emotional high cost a lot. Most of the time, we give up our psychological and cognitive functions so that we can operate at a happier level. It is true that people who are happier think differently, but it isn’t the way we assume. Of course, the more optimistic you are, the greater your self confidence level. And your high optimism and healthy confidence level will benefit you moderately.
According to research, people with a positive mood make a lot of mistakes when it comes to solving difficult challenges, focusing attention, trusting others, and even spending money. Being happy is our default state. But not everything can make us happy.
Does Your Happiness Really Live Within You?
The society we live him encourages us to find our happiness within, when, in fact, we really wired to find that happiness in the comfort of other people. While it feels so good to feel like we control our own happiness, the truth is we mostly depend on others to make happy.
The number one predictor of happiness is social support in the form the close relationships we have with people, yet the culture says we need to focus inward; to find happiness in ourselves. This keeps us from the things that really matters most, which is other people.
This attitude towards self-driven happiness only causes people to be lonely, and encourages those who are not so happy to cope with it themselves.
Happiness Is A Choice
It isn’t so simple. The problem with the phrase “You can choose to be happy” is that it says that people who aren’t so happy simple choose not to be – that if they really wanted to be happy they could have chosen to be, and the whole world to change.
The truth is happiness isn’t just a decision, it is an emotional feeling. Choosing to be happy means that feelings of being sad, angry, hurt, are wrong. All the emotions we feel serve different functions, even the emotions we do not enjoy.
Anger makes us remember things that have hurt our feelings, sadness directs our attention inwards, giving us time to process our loss, and anxiety keeps us from harm. We need these negative emotions for survival, and “choosing to be happy” means there is just one way to be.
A different strategy to use is to check how appropriate the emotions you are experiencing is. The duration and timing of how you feel is critical to your wellbeing that the status; either positive or negative.
How To Live A Happier Life
While we cannot be 100% happy, we can actually leave a happier life. Here are a few wasy you can live a happy life.
Try To Think Positive
In order to be happy, you need to refrain your brain from thinking negative all the time to thinking positive. Try things like spending one to two minutes looking for the positives in your life. You can do this three times daily for 40 to 45 days and your brain will automatically get used to this.
Choose a positive mantra for everyday; choose something you will repeat to yourself. Something like ‘Today is a good day” or “I am grateful for what I have.” And when things don’t go as planned, always know that there are silver linings in this life.
Choose a positive mantra for the day — something you will repeat to yourself, such as “Today is beautiful” or “I feel grateful for all I have.” And when things go south, take a moment to try and see it from a positive light. Never underestimate the importance of recognizing the silver linings in life.
Create a Work-life balance
Even though work takes up most of our day, it should not be do. Make sure you take part in activities that interests you. Try to enjoy your hobby. If you love spending time with your loved ones, do it. If you love playing games, do it. If you love cooking, learn new recipes and cook.
Also make sure you are getting enough exercise. Exercising and creating balance between your work life and the other life will reduce stress and allow you to have fun.
Accept that life is not perfect
A lot of us are perfectionists – we want to push ourselves to be the best; have a perfect life, perfect job, perfect body, etc. But if you want to be truly happy, you need to embrace imperfection, and learn that it is part of life. Perfection is not possible, and pushing yourself to be perfect is futile. You will only end up feeling let down. Life is not perfect – accept this and know that there is beauty in every imperfection.
Celebrate little victories
Little victories matters. Life is full of ups and downs, and in between these ups and downs, there are plenty of little victories that go unnoticed. Take a moment to celebrate these little victories.
Cheer yourself. Tell yourself you are a winner. Pop champagne and celebrate. You may have probably checked off all the things on your list that you’ve been procrastinating on or maybe your finally replied all the mails in your inbox. These little accomplishments matter.
Practicing mindfulness brings your awareness and attention to the moment. It about accepting how you are feeling. It means being present, being curious, and being aware. Accepting what you are going through reduces stress and helps you see situations for what they are and find peace in yourself.
Constant worrying steals your joy. You have little time to appreciate what you have. Some people think that if they worry enough, it would keep bad things from happening. This is wrong. You can’t experience joy and contentment when you worry.
Hang Out with happy people
Moods can be very contagious. Hang out with happy people as feelings can be transferred from them to you. Surrounding yourself with happy people is a secret to being happy. Don’t stay around gloomy or negative people. You may start to remember your own troubles.
Build meaningful relationships
There is a connection between love, happiness, and community. Humans generally have a fundamental need to interact and connect with people around them. We naturally go around finding our tribe – people who understand us, support us and always be there for us. Without these relationships, we feel lonely and alone. Humans are happier when they seek happiness with others.
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