The Federally Mandated Toilet Still Doesn’t Work
What Is the Government Doing in Our Bathrooms?
Three years ago we moved into our newly built home in Grand Blanc, Michigan. The whole family was excited.
While all new houses have some problems, I was not expecting the toilets to be among them. How could this be? After all, these toilets were brand new. As it turns out, that was precisely the reason they weren’t working. You see, I am the not-so-proud owner of three federally mandated environment-friendly, but consumer-unfriendly toilets. The primitive 3.5-gallon toilet, which worked, was outlawed by the Energy Policy and Conservation Act of 1992 in favor of the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet, which doesn’t work.
Pulling the lever on the 1.6-gallon toilet has become an anxious game of chance for all members of the family. Will it work as advertised? Will it require two or more flushes to get the job done? Will it clog up? Or, heaven forbid, will it overflow? Contrary to the assurances of consumer groups, environmentalists, and politicians, these new toilets are still not working as advertised. For the longest time my youngest daughter would not flush the government toilet for fear that it would overflow.
To address this situation, I saw three options:
1. Get a really good, expensive plunger and keep it close by;
2. Proactively double flush; or
3. Visit Ontario (in spite of its socialist tendencies, Canada still sells 3.5-gallon toilets).
I chose option 2. However, this double-flush solution only works so long as everyone understands and plays by the rules. Beware of provincial visitors who still have the 3.5-gallon versions. Unless you train your unsophisticated guests in the proper use of the government-mandated toilets, be prepared for some very embarrassing moments. I was recently awakened from a sound sleep to hear my wife say: “Michael, the toilet is overflowing in the guest bathroom.”
What’s wrong with this scenario? Why don’t I have the right to choose? Isn’t this pro-choice America? If I want to buy a gas-guzzling environmentally unfriendly sport utility vehicle (SUV), that is—as of this writing—my choice. I can water my lawn all day and wash my car in the driveway. However, because of this government decree I am not allowed to choose a 3.5-gallon toilet. I am forced to buy a toilet that, in theory, saves 1.9 gallons of water per flush (this assumes no double or triple flushing) and saves me $50 per year, again in theory. For peace of mind, I am willing to forgo the mythical $50 savings. Unfortunately, I don’t have a choice.
What’s going on here? While the government says it will not dictate what we can or cannot do in the bedroom, the same is not true for the bathroom. Here, intrusive laws are permissible. Manufacturers who are caught selling or distributing toilets that work will be fined $100 (per toilet). In addition, new homes, or older homes with remodeled bathrooms, will not be able to pass inspection if any working toilets are found on the premises.
This sounds a lot like Prohibition. Once again the government is denying the public a product that it wants, needs, and enjoys. Law-abiding citizens are becoming international smugglers. Expect to see a modern day Eliot Ness-type figure emerge (note that I did not say hero) to command a convoy of large FBI trucks equipped with battering rams. No warehouse in America will be safe. Based on tips from environmentalists, The Unflushables will swing into action. They will blast through warehouse walls and once inside, The Unflushables will start smashing the illicit 3.5ers with sledgehammers.
Who’s the Victim?
If you will recall, the American people eventually prevailed over Prohibition. This turnaround occurred even though the government apparently had the moral high ground. It was only trying to protect the American people from the ills and crimes associated with alcohol. This may be blasphemy, but I see buying, installing, and using a 3.5-gallon toilet as a victimless crime that does not warrant a return to Prohibition. I realize that a certain segment of our population will become apoplectic with this statement. I can hear them now: “The environment is the victim!”
But how serious is this particular environmental problem really? The stated reason for enacting the law was to save water. We are told that the 3.5-gallon toilet accounts for 30 percent of the household water use. This sounds significant. However, the people who throw this figure around to win support for draconian measures conveniently fail to mention that up to 60 percent of total household water use occurs outside the house through lawn watering, washing cars, and wading and swimming pools. Thirty percent of the remaining household water is only 12 percent of the total. Twelve percent is not as impressive as 30 percent. If we then include the water used by agriculture, commercial firms, and industry, we find that the household water represents 10 percent of total water use. This means that toilets account for slightly more than 1 percent of America’s water usage. Again, how serious is this environmental problem really?
There is a second (equally weak) argument put forth to support the politically correct toilets. The Environmental Protection Agency told Congress that America will need to invest $280 billion in the next two decades for the treatment of drinking and waste water. That cost will be a function of how much water is treated each year. True, but won’t it be borne by those who use the service? Isn’t that the only fair way? If the federal and state governments aren’t paying it, why is this a problem?
If the EPA had instead told Congress that America needed to invest $280 billion in the next two decades for petroleum refining, would we be shaking our heads in disgust over the enormousness of the cost to Americans? Not at all, because in this case we understand that those using the product would pay for it. The SUV owners will pay more than the Volkswagen owners. People can certainly save money by buying smaller, fuel-efficient cars. However, many make the conscious economic decision to buy larger cars.
The politically correct toilet law was not a well-chosen piece of legislation. Its environmental and economic benefits appear, at best, marginal. The law has become a source of ridicule and derision, which only serves to undermine any concern about the environment. But who can blame those who scoff at this law? It indeed symbolizes the increasing level of government intrusion into our daily lives.
Comment by Keith G. on 15 May 2010:
I don’t know why this article had to be written… but it did. How ironic too that it was written in November of 2001! So much of the world was in turmoil at that time, so many changes in the world order. And yet, even then, the issue of a non-flushing toilet emerged as one that needed to be written and published.
It’s a sad thing. How long have flush toilets been around? Depending on what culture you’re talking about, and how you want to describe it, at least since 1775, with the invention of the S-trap still in use today to block sewer vapors from entering the house, or perhaps even since the 26th century BC, when parts of the Indus Valley Civilization had flush toilets in every home (I kid you not! This is straight from wikipedia, the source of all knowledge!). Suffice it to say that they’ve been around a long time.
So why can’t they flush properly? Perhaps Mr. Heberling is right. It’s all a government plot. On the other hand, there ARE toilets that work even with 1.6 gallon flushes. Most of these seem to be made by Toto. Why? The most common toilet out there (in this country) is probably American Standard. I’m guessing. I sure see them everywhere. And they suck. I don’t know what it takes to make one that flushes, as opposed to one that doesn’t. I would say that it starts with CARING whether it flushes or not. I doubt that American Standard gives a crap (no pun intended… well, maybe a little) whether theirs flush or not. They know that everyone will just blame the 1.6 gallon law, and the building supply shops and the plumbers will continue to spec and supply their products anyway.
But it’s wrong. People like Mr. Heberling – and me, dammit! – should not have to be spending our precious time writing about stupid things like the flushing of toilets, in the 21st Century! This is not the way we all were told it was going to be! Where are the cars flying through the air, and the robotic maids? We don’t even have toilets that flush, our cars don’t get any better gas mileage in 2010 than they did in 1970, and if we were working any harder to make a buck than we are in this day and age, we wouldn’t even need bedrooms in our homes because we wouldn’t have time to sleep in them.
A shack in the woods sometimes looks pretty darned appealing. At least then you know everything is going to work right!
Comment by Chris on 10 June 2010:
I agree with Keith. Indoor plumbing is not something that should be restricted or scorned, it should be considered one of civilization’s achievements. We’re also going to experience the same thing with light bulbs when the incandescent bulb is banned. Ironically, that could be worse for the environment since now you could have more mercury problems.
Comment by Jamie on 2 July 2010:
Give me a 3.5 gallon toilet any day.The water saver kind takes forever to even start to flush by that time your running for the plunger because it doesn’t have enough momentum to carry it through the pipe.You can flush 15 golf balls in a water saver but the last time I checked poop doesn’t look like golf balls.
Comment by Sherry on 22 March 2011:
To work reasonably efficiently, my governmentally legal toilet only takes an average of three flushes, plus (about twice a week) a large bucket of hot water from the shower stall dragged over, lifted up, and poured into the bowl. (Way to save water!) This gives me the added advantage of an extremely painful type of therapy for my spine, which is trying to heal from a recent spinal fusion. If that doesn’t serve the purpose of necessitating the Government (Medicare) to pay for yet a second spinal-fusion surgery, all I need do is take a basket of clothes down to one of my building’s front-load, governmentally legal washers, where I get to bend so drastically when removing the clothes that I can’t straighten up for five minutes.
Pingback by An Ode to the Throne | The Fashion Show on 19 October 2011:
[...] In 1992, the U.S. government mandated that all new toilets had to be “low-flow” toilets, using 1.6 gallons per flush rather the previous 5 gallons or more (even though many people feel the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet doesn’t work). [...]
Pingback by An Ode to the Throne | Zillow Blog - Real Estate Market Stats, Celebrity Real Estate, and Zillow News on 19 October 2011:
[...] In 1992, the U.S. government mandated that all new toilets had to be “low-flow” toilets, using 1.6 gallons per flush rather the previous 5 gallons or more (even though many people feel the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet doesn’t work). [...]
Pingback by An Ode to the Commode | The Fashion Show on 19 October 2011:
[...] In 1992, the U.S. government mandated that all new toilets had to be “low-flow” toilets, using 1.6 gallons per flush rather the previous 5 gallons or more (even though many people feel the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet doesn’t work). [...]
Pingback by An Ode to the Throne – Real Estate for Sale in Santa Monica | Santa Monica Real Estate 90402 | Homes for Sale in Santa Monica 90402 on 19 October 2011:
[...] In 1992, the U.S. government mandated that all new toilets had to be “low-flow” toilets, using 1.6 gallons per flush rather the previous 5 gallons or more (even though many people feel the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet doesn’t work). [...]
Pingback by An Ode to the Commode – Real Estate for Sale in LA | ManhattanBeachEstate.com on 19 October 2011:
[...] In 1992, the U.S. government mandated that all new toilets had to be “low-flow” toilets, using 1.6 gallons per flush rather the previous 5 gallons or more (even though many people feel the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet doesn’t work). [...]
Comment by Will on 28 October 2011:
“You can flush 15 golf balls in a water saver but the last time I checked poop doesn’t look like golf balls.”
Indeed. I will accept the results of the golf ball flushing test when Golf Digest begins to test clubs by striking fresh human poop instead of golf balls.
Comment by AltheDago on 29 October 2011:
Water waste is a huge fraud anyway. Water is a finite resource (see water cycle in any 5th grade science textbook, assuming they still teach science). Rain falls, water flows downhill, and evaporation creates clouds so rain can fall. Where’s the waste, exactly?
Comment by donchrisjolly on 30 October 2011:
I do not know why it had to be 1.6 gal. If they would have allowed for perhaps 2 gal or 2.2 gal, it could have improved performance a lot. By now (2011) most people know to flush more often. When I am a guest I will flush at least 3 or 4 times rather than experience the embarrassment of confronting my guest with a stopped or overflowing toilet. At home I also flush more and every toilet has a plunger handy. Even so, we usually get an overflow about twice a year. I bought, installed and modified a Koehler Wellworth toilet in my house so that it flushes on more than 1.6 gal. The diameter of the hole of the particular model I bought is slightly larger, and with a little more water the result is dramatic. A slightly bigger hole and a little more water make a huge difference in performance over what I had. It seems the law erred in being just a little short of actually being functional.
Comment by Choices on 17 November 2011:
Perhaps construction salvage places would have a 3.5 gallon toilet. We have one that takes discards from remodeling projects. As for me, I will keep my old toilet, and take it with me if I ever move.
And I am currently hoarding 100 watt lightbulbs. Must buy many more before they are unavailable next year.
Pingback by An Ode to the Commode | Zillow Blog - Real Estate Market Stats, Celebrity Real Estate, and Zillow News on 20 November 2011:
[...] In 1992, the U.S. government mandated that all new toilets had to be “low-flow” toilets, using 1.6 gallons per flush rather the previous 5 gallons or more (even though many people feel the politically correct 1.6-gallon toilet doesn’t work). [...]
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